First Love

True love,
What it takes to have one?
Giving everything you got,
Or just wait till the time comes?

They said,
If they’re happy, so do you,
And they also said,
Your sacrifices will make love for you.

So then I obeyed,
Hope true love will be mine,
Time passes each season,
And I notice a part still missing.

Emptiness and loneliness,
Its stop by when the time freeze,
There’s a thing they haven’t told,
Love yourself first is a must done.

Credit to The Paper Wall

Wake Up!

I heard a call, a shout to be exact. There're calling my name and waving to me. I heard they said, "Come back! The time has come! You must wake up now or it will be no coming back!" What are they talking about? Come back to where? The headache keep coming recently, and I think something is struggling inside my mind, something that has long buried; the memories, the past, the old time.

How long is it already? I seems to forget so many things bout my past. Being passive, out of curiosity,  and being hold by a strong oppression really had change me in many way. Feeling restless and exhausted had robed me for too long. Maybe its time to put an end to all these trouble. I shall find a way back, I must once again be able to walk the road of light!

Source: The Paper Wall

What is it?

Sometime patient alone won't work. Trust me! I know a lot bout being patient. This is so hard to understand by the naive thinking of me of course. I thought I got it all and I do make some notes somewhere to remind me. Guess what, I forget almost all of it already. Lucky me right?

"What is being human really mean?"

Have you answered this questions? Or its never crossed your mind before? This one question means a lot to me. It is the beginning of pursuing something that you'll never know of its important someday. The hunger keep growing, the more you found the less you understand. Question, that lead to more questions, being deceived by your ideas and ideology, everything goes so wrong, and its just make you feel so lost and tired.

"What had gone missing?"

What is LOVE?

One fine day..

Amad: Dad, what is love?
Dad: Love? Hurm, love is.. wait, wait. are you in love?! who's the girl that make my boy a grown man now? Come on, tell me! tell me!
Amad: Dad please! I'm just curious okay. Nothing more, nothing less.
Dad: Haha, okay, that is normal. After all, only people who just suddenly fall in love would understand that curious you have.
Amad: Can you  just answer the question Dad?
Dad: Come on, I'm just starting to have some fun now. Oh, now I see someone face turn red! (laughing)
Amad: Can you stop teasing me Dad? That's not funny okay.
Dad: Haha, finally my son is in love! So I guess "Girl is trouble" have caught you right on your face!
Amad: Good try Dad, good try. Ahaha..

Dad: Well, love is everything and anything. It's up to you, truly define by the way you see it.
Amad: Really? Then how you define it Dad?
Dad: It is a life, a blessing, and a cure for restless mind and soul.
Amad: That's all?
Dad: For the positive part, yes. Sometimes love can be something you would regret, turning you to a slave, insecure feeling, restless, and it can change you to be someone you never wish to be.
Amad: Someone I never wish to be? What do you mean?
Dad: Hurm, I guess people this Ages call it as Emo? Desperate, lose of confident, no will of living, detach themselves from the good of living, or they often be like a living flash; have no soul, and have no will.
Amad: It is that bad?
Dad: Yup, and that happen when you have a mental problem! Ahaha..
Amad: Dad! please. Can you see that I'm serious here?
Dad: Hahaha.. Listen son, life is about love and hate. You will never understand love if you don't know hate. Got it?
Amad: ?
Dad: Learn to forget; learn to forgive, soon you will see how big and beautiful love would be.
Amad: Can you make it sound more simple? You kind of make me confuse.
Dad: Good, that what I want. Ahaha..
Amad: Dad!

So, what is LOVE?

The Phantom

How will you choose?

I never wish to live in this mess,
I just hope for a better life,
I didn’t mean to be disgrace,
I just want a truth out of this madness.

Will you stop with the argument?
It does make me feel sick,
I know you’re both making some points,
But sadly it causes me more confuses.

Written by fzikuz

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

p/s: will you see what had I saw?

Till It Can’t Be Told

See it thoroughly,

What you keep in believing,

Will you found the verity?

Or better to ignore it?

Twisted fantasy and reality,

A sick heart with poison meds,

Mind tricks by magical sticks,

Will it make you another V?

Move in shadow and live alone,

How will verity be found?

Written by fzikuz

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

*Happy fasting month (Ramadan 1433H) to fellow Muslim

Duck or Rabbit?

The Dot.

Inside Her Mind

How should I express my feeling bout this video? It is very heart touching, so sad that it happen to be that way.

We are special, friends, no matter in what way people judge you, you are who you are. You are not the projection of the creepy ideas they had about you.

As I wrote before, If you ever need someone, you can count on me. I will be happy to have you as a friend.

Suicide (Please Don't ! )

Do Better!

Who know what will you be tomorrow,

When you too unsure what happen in next hours,

Why would you listen to the others,

While you can be beyond expectations,

Don't you know what they afraid of ?

Seeing you move till the final,

Far ahead of the 'comfort' zone.

Written by Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Do Better!

The Untold

Deep into the forest of life,

The Untold

Beyond the reach of mankind,

I found a footstep,

I feel a heart’s essence,

I trailed the old shattered branches,

Thorns and bushes become companion,

Moment later I saw a figure,

Trap in the middle of river’s stream,

Shining brightly and patiently waiting.

Written by Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim

Monday, April 02, 2012

Cliché, right?

Cliché, right?

 

What else can you wrote about? It has been covered, all of it, about your life, things you regretted, things you adored, love stories you keep fantasizing, the spice and the ugly of life, the beauty and the sweet memories, and the giving, the receiving, and the forgiving, it’s all out there and trust me, we read its countless of times, but why we keep looking for another piece of the same writing? Pathetic, aren’t we?

Curiously,

fzikuz

The Rhythm of Silent

The Rhythm of Silent

I came here with smile and laugh,
And I make friends across ages,
All I wanted is to be with everyone,
They're my joy in everyday life.

How I believe to be happy can surpasses the tense,
Till later it becomes too big to conquer,
Then I struggle to suppress it harder,
And today, I found the end for a Joker.

I am tired and exhausted,
I give up the joke; fade up with the joy,
At the end my talk is a poison,
For a group of people who love to live in barrier.

And that's how the talkative had turned silent.


Written by Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim
Friday, February 24, 2012

The Way You Prefer

How weird life is, isn't it? From day first we were born in this beautiful world, there are just to much need to be learned, understand, and taught. From the first proud step till the last meaningful step, we encounter many different things, we make mistakes, we do stupid things, we enjoy the youth-ages, we found love, we build a family, then we learn to be in joy and pain. Can you see how all of this had successfully created the way you're doing right now? Take a moment, and look back to what have you had in your life.

If you being asked, "What is the most precious in your life?" What will be your answer?

Sincerely,
fzikuz.
p/s: my answer would be 'Time'.
Now I understand how short 24 hours can be.. ^^

A Mystery

I had a dream one night. I met a man whom I can’t really saw his face or recognized how he looks like. I just knew that’s a man and I absolutely sure he is. I recall that we’re having chats, and it’s a fun one, under a very big, green and shady tree in the middle of green field, out of nowhere. I don’t know what were we talking about in particular, but I remember a question he asked me that time.

A Mystery

“With the world full of knowledge, which one you think the first one need to be learned?”

On the wooden swing, under the shadow of the tree, he suddenly vanished and leaving me alone, still thinking of the right answer for the friendly Mister. Things change, the scenery is fading and miraculously I am awake from my dream with my mind still working with the question, and curiously want to know what would be the answer?

Peace is Love

I question myself one day, what is peace? Having everything? Or controlling everything? I believe that peace is love. Love that can be felt in every heart, have no boundaries, have no forces, and it naturally born with us. It makes you feel calm with the way it cease your problems away, the way it lift you up when you fall, the way it makes you cry and release your pain, and the most important is the way it gives you hopes to hang on and to climb for the best of life. So, do you really need money for that? Nope, all you need is got back your humanity, because it’s the beginning of love from the giver that need no reply.

I’m a seeker of love,

Have no boundaries and not blind,

Giving no burden but hopes,

Not for suicide, but for a peace of life.

Soothing music is a way to understand what love is.

Written by fzikuz

Future, Dreams and Fantasy

You must believe in the way you see 'it'

A small step to begin with,

Decision to leave uncertainty,

Next step to create a fantasy,

Collecting dreams yet as reality,

Do as wishes of a starveling,

Build the house even with a brick,

Put a soul in every dreams,

Make a fantasy become a reality,

Let times become an enemy.

Written by Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim

Friday, January 06, 2012

Freak Never Die

‘I have live long enough, but why can I control my anger as the way it should be?’ I didn’t look at him while throwing the question; instead I keep staring as far as my sight can reach out of the blue sea. Though this is the part that I hate most to talk about, but Amad still patiently seated, smiling at my very question. ‘You don’t really need the answer’ he said and I said nothing.

It is time to take a vacation

‘Two fresh coconut juice, sir, and do you want anything else?’ ‘No thanks’ I said. Then I saw the waitress moving to a table which just two rows from me, asking politely the customers whom just arrived, waiting for their orders. ‘Hey, what’s in your mind?’ Amad started the conversation after an awkward moment of silent. ‘I don’t know, it hard for me to put it in word”.

I exhale hardly like a person who just finished doing some heavy work. The I continued, ‘I love someone, and that someone really is important to me which that someone can even make me cry in my night, just remembering what that someone doing right at that moment. I happen to know the bad side of that someone, and the sympathy keep growing inside, getting bigger when we live together. I love that someone so much but at the same time I feel really exhausted of this sympathy feeling till I can’t control myself, talking with high pitch, rarely smile and always trying my hard to avoid any eyes contact.’

Amad is always a good friend, since from our childhood. He is a kind of protective person, soft-hearted, yet has a strong will and determination. He teaches me about many things, never complaint when he need to do or said the same thing again and again, all because I am too dumb to understand all that philosophical and super-floes  talk he gave, and he reply shortly to me:

‘Freak never die, it just vanish through times. Same goes to your problem, it never mean to be answered, instead it just keep giving you problems and questions, till you never realized that same thing already happen’.

Written by fzikuz

p/s: It is really hard to control anger, right?

Will You Come, Santa Claus?

It is six days before the end of the year, and everyone knows what will happen on that day, and in fact everyone is eagerly waiting for it, preparing what is necessary, and yes it is during winter, and yes it is Merry Christmas.

How old Santa really is?

What is Christmas really mean? A rising hope for a white beard with white hair, fat old man, wearing all red hat and cloth, floating in the sky with his six reindeer, and bringing a bunch of presents on his back, to make your wish come true? You know that it doesn't work that way, right? Long before, when you were a young, energetic, innocent kid, you have been told a story of a noble and kind, yet powerful old man that can hear your wish, far from nowhere (I mean far from the North Pole perhaps).

Years later, when you now serve the community, married and having child, you passed the same story you get from your folks. 'Behave, and Santa will make your wish come true!'. That what you told your child. But what's the point to tell a lied that you know will soon be discovered when your child grown up?

I know I couldn't get the answer because the world had acknowledge this kind of lied, and like a sacred will, everyone bear a responsibility to keep this lied passed down to the next generations in the name of 'The Spirit of Christmas'. My only wish is, will you help me to perished this lied from keep going, Santa Claus?

"For all long days in Winter,

I sat on a chair, looking far to North Pole,

I wonder when will you knocked my door,

Because I'm dying, I am growing too old."

Written by fzikuz.
'Merry Christmas and Happy New Year'
p/s: I'm not part of this celebration.

Hopeless Hope?

Hopeless Hope

A Song Of A Deaf

I was born in a village full of an artistic people. Everyone is the best artist in their field of work. They were known for the best craftsman, the best poetry, the best philosopher, the best musician, and the best singer that world ever known; and among all, singer is the most well-known.

I grew up among people that do sing a lot in daily life, even while they're talking, eating, walking, and even in dreaming. I love the look of their faces, full of smile, and they alway live their life to the fullest and filled with happiness. So then it decided, I want to be a singer while I didn't really notice that singing does have sound because my entire life said differently.

A song of a deaf

I start to learn singing with friends, I heard the 'sound' coming from their mouths, I can  'hear' the rhythm of their lips moving up and down; and I start mimicking its movement and I began enjoying the beautiful 'voices' that I learn. Day after day, I become a good listener rather then a good singer. I sing when they want me to, and I begin to notice the smiles I received, the excitement faces that I saw, wasn't really as I expected.

There's something wrong. One day, there was an annual festival held and everyone  will sing a song with the theme, 'Memoir of Sailor'. I work hard for this moment, I wrote the most beautiful lyric I can ever made, and practice countless time, but among hundreds that hear my song, only a response then make me realize a hard fact about my life.

"My dear son, that was a good song that I ever heard, but so sad no one tried to understand. They're clapping hands and smile, while the song is telling differently; because they just hear a song with sound, while you're singing with no voice but can be heard with no ears. Living is not just pleasing other people son, but it about appreciation of who you are. If today no one understand you, don't give up, because you already can see what they can only see after hundreds of years. You're not a broken part, but you're a missing part that will complete the puzzle of this people. Have trust in yourself; and only people with strong believe can live happily."

Written by fzikuz