My very death has come before me. There, waiting off in the distance across the open meadow. My enemy, whose bounds of fortitude stretch mightily across the deadened fields, and whose weapons and armor shimmer against the rise of the morning sun. How I wish at this moment that I could live to see its evening setting. A site whose beauty I have taking for granted. Yet I know the suns fall will come sooner as I look out across the landscape with disquietude. I am at awe at the infinite number of men who stand waiting anxiously to annihilate. It is a battle we cannot win.
We, though out numbered, stand forbearing as our imposing leader prances before us on his majestic horse. With an imperious voice he shouts for the lines to hold strong. He shouts again for us to stand in reliance while raising his sword with confidence to the honor that has been given us this day. It is the contemptuous honor to lay down your life for country and King. So with courage and honor we wait for the command to charge into our own eternity, but I, Henry of Sutton; wait not with the courage and honor but with the reverence of fear.
My position of charge is the third line in our unit, but oddly, I am with discontent that it is. It serves only a cushion that will prolong my inevitable. Waiting, I look down the line to my fellow soldiers. Most of whom I have never come to know; nor now will I ever. I see their visible breaths penetrate the morning chill while their faces lay hidden behind their armored helms. Still, we stand in unison dressed in our clad of war, and we wait.
Then, a scent of clover comes up from the North as it rides the pale breeze. Its sweet fragrance fills my nostrils as it takes me back to a different place. Back home to a family who will now bare the last of my dying thoughts. My wife and two sons and an unborn whose life I will never know. With a tilt of my head I begin a silent prayer; though I pray not for myself but for that of my family. I ask God to deliver and too also watch over them, but before I can finish the command of charge has been shouted. So with screams of intimidation I am pushed forward to do battle with an enemy who has also begun charge. Though I, Henry of Sutton; scream not to intimidate but to help brace for a death that has been laid at my hand.
As the battle engages I see hatred in the eyes of those possessed. No mercy in their souls and no hope in mine as my sword swings forth with reckless abandon. I lay enfolded in chaotic madness and I fear death will soon come for me. Still, I fight on for the love of family and not for a King who hides comfortably within four walls.
As the battle rages in fury; blood pours openly to the ground as some men slip and lose edge. I watch as the steel blade comes down upon them without clemency. Men who lay wounded begin to drown in the river of red. As the battle continues the smell of death rises while our number’s fall in size. But still, we fight on as my sword cuts deep into the back of my adversary. As I draw it back I swing wildly behind me slicing into the open air and losing command. Slipping, I too fall prey to the red earth. As I lay there I watch my fellow fighter’s carry on with the fight. I watch as death engulfs them as some are even taken from behind and with surprise, but still, I remain. Blood rushes quickly from their bodies and I begin to feel the warmth of its flow beneath me. I could stand and fight but victory will soon be theirs. So I cower and hide with the dead of the earth that I now lay with. Though I know this enemy won't satisfy until our last breath has been seized upon. Even still, I lie quietly and without contrition as the battle rages before me.
It feels as if hours have passed since I've hid among the dead, and I notice the sound of clashing metal has begun to cease. It is their victory to own. I apperceive my adversary rummaging through the still bodies. As I remain quiet and still I feel a presence bode over me. He stands nudging those around looking for any movement or sound. Quiet moans are heard as his sword is quickly used to silence their cry. I then feel his blunt nudge against my own side, and then I feel it again. I fear he sees through my facade. I sense his relentless stare bare down on me as I hold deep my breath, and then I hear the sound of scraping steel as he draws upon his sword yet again. Though oddly, I remain calm while I wait for the steel blade of death to deliver its sting. So I, Henry of Sutton, will die not with integrity but that which disdains. As I watch through closed eyes I see him raise his sword high into the air, and then I feel its sharp plunge bury beneath me into the ground below. Triumphantly he walks away as my eyes tightly close behind him.
As I lay dying I open my eyes to see my two boys along with a beautiful daughter standing over me. Her loveliness astounds me. I see the age that has become them and I know their life was full, and blessed. My wife is there also, with them, saying goodbye to me. She has become an old woman, but yet the love I feel at this time is more than I have ever known. My oldest son reaches down and wipes a cool cloth across my forehead as my wife holds tightly to my hand. I thank God for this vision that is within my site and the gift of family that was given me. Then, a scent of clover comes up from the North as it rides the pale breeze. Its sweet fragrance fills my nostrils as it comes through my open window and takes me back to a different place. Back to a place of battle where lives were lost, fighting for the freedom that has been mine to live.
As my last breaths are being taken I look over to the sword that now hangs upon my wall. It is the same sword that was plunged deep into the earth beside me on that fateful day, thirty-three years ago. I have lived my life with many regrets, and my code of bearing on that day has never left my thoughts; the day I coward and hid among the dead. Though I, Henry of Sutton; will die today not with nobility, but that of a hero to my unknowing family.
***
As my eyes begin weakening; I see the setting sun from my bedroom window. It is a site whose beauty I have since come to cherish. I then shut my eyes for the last time and find the death that has been owed me for so many years.
Copyright 2009 r.e.potter
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