I Love You Honey, but

“RING!!” the clock keep making noises waiting for me to open my eyes, and give it a lovely kiss for what had it done in almost a decade in wake me up, so then I’m not late to perform my Salah every morning. ”Okay, enough already! I’m surrender! I’m surrender! You’ll never give me changes to enjoy my sleep, huh?” like crazy, I’m now talking to my clock, complaining for its loyalty, and it always happen to be like this almost every day at 6.15 a.m.

After the prayer, I walked toward the windows and release the keys, and then beautiful scenery of sunrise appeared right in front of my eyes, brighten the sky in every second passed. I couldn’t hold my excitement anymore and without me notice, I already said it loudly, “Morning world!”, and the best thing is, I’m not afraid of being scolded by neighbors because there is no other houses around 100 meters of my house, besides there is only a beautiful, medium large lake with an untouched Rain-Forest, just hundreds meter, at the front of my room’s window; behind my house.

My day-dream of peace was not last for too long when the last unpleasant incident disturbed me again, after the hard to sleep effect the last night it gave me, and its 2 days more before the second full moon appeared again, since its first happen. “I’ll hate you Amad for the rest of my life!” it like yesterday I heard this from her mouth. Without my permission, a screenplay of yesterday incident now appeared in my mind, showing me again each movement, words and emotions happen that time. If it not me who started first, this will never happen. “Ika, I’m sorry I couldn’t let our heart-to-heart relationship keep going any further, anymore”. With a half whisper she asked, “But why Amad? Why? Am I doing wrong? Am I hurting you? Am I “, I know she couldn’t finish the last words because she already cried that time. “No, you don’t. It’s me; I’m the one who create this problem”. I’ll tried to calm her, make her comfortable even I know this conversation worse than die to us, and tears couldn’t be stopped no more that time.

“It’s not that I hate you that I break up with you; but because I love you. I don’t want to see you wasting your time, keep me accompany all the time, creating an unnecessary memories and sacrifice for nothing. I want you to enjoy every seconds of your youth, make friends, tons of them, create as much experiences with your best friends, live happily, enjoying your life without any restriction except from your parent. I still remember the first time we decide to be together, you said that you want me to bring you closer to Him because you see me so pious but the truth is not. Day by day passed, I keep doing the wrong thing, asking you too many weird questions even its mean about your privacy and start abuse your dignity, even as small as holding your hands. I know you don’t mind me doing all that because you said it’s the prove of our love, but Ika, I want you to know, you are too much valuable, noble then that, which your loyalty and sacrifice, your beauty and the whole thing about you, women, are not belong to me, but it’s your husband properties. Protect it, Ika, for the sake of your future husband, from us, the stranger men.

I’m not trying to be good here, but it’s for your own good. It’s all that I can do to protect you, Ika. This relationship between us, I really appreciate it with all my heart. I will, Ika, one day, bring you home to our own house, and have a happy family together and that time I’m proud to call you my wife, if it’s our destiny”.

Written by Nik Ahmad Fariq B Nik Ibrahim
Wednesday, June 09, 2010